How to Pray for a Double-Minded Husband

The Bible tells us that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:8). So, just what does it mean to be double-minded? A double-minded person lacks sincerity. A double-minded person wavers in his or her convictions, depending on the circumstances. A double-minded person is indecisive, vacillating in his or her opinions and beliefs for the sake of convenience. Simply put, a double-minded person is a hypocrite. Let’s diven into How to Pray for a Double-Minded Husband

One reason a person might be double-minded is that he or she wants to be accepted by God and accepted by the world. However, Jesus warned us in advance that we would be hated by the world if we serve Him (Luke 21:17) because the world, especially the religious leaders during His earthly ministry, rejected Him (Psalm 118:22). Therefore, the only acceptance we are to seek is the acceptance of God through Christ Jesus (Ephesians 1:6). 

Another reason that a person becomes double-minded is through the desire to be seen and recognized for his or her service to God. However, Jesus taught that the desire to be acknowledged by man for what we do in the name of the Lord is hypocritical and that God will not honor such behavior (Matthew 6:15). Rather, God wants us to do all things as unto Him and not unto man, knowing that when we serve the Lord wholeheartedly, we will receive the reward of our inheritance in Christ Jesus (Colossians 3:23-24).

Yet another reason for a person to become double-minded is to fulfill a self-serving agenda. However, Jesus taught that we cannot serve two masters (Matthew 6:24); whether it’s trying to serve God and money or serving God and self, we can’t do it because God requires that we love Him and serve Him with all of our heart and with all of our soul (Deuteronomy 10:12), which leaves no allowance for a self-serving agenda.

There are many other reasons for a person to become double-minded; however, the three reasons described above are quite common. More important than knowing the reason that a person becomes double-minded is understanding that all of the various reasons develop from the same root of sin.

What is the root cause of double-mindedness?

The root cause of double-mindedness is pride. Psalm 10:4 tells us that the wicked, because of the pride of their countenance, will not seek after God because they won’t put God in all of their thoughts. In other words, they won’t seek God wholeheartedly because they would need to humble themselves, which their pride won’t allow.

Instead, they will “go through the motions” and pay “lip service” to God in order to appear to be submitted to God. However, God isn’t fooled. God sees our hearts and takes pleasure in our uprightness and willingness to serve Him (1 Chronicles 29:17). Anything else is unacceptable.

A double-minded man will use deception to evade detection (Job 15:35). In fact, in an attempt to deceive others, he might even read the Word of God, which is the Sword of the Spirit (Ephesians 6:17) and is used by the Holy Spirit to divide soul from spirit (Hebrews 4:12). However, because a double-minded man refuses to allow that Sword to crucify his own flesh in order to apply the blood of Christ to his life, he becomes cursed as a result of his pride (Jeremiah 48:10). Because he’s not applying the Word to his life, his heart becomes like the thorny soil in the Parable of the Sower—he hears the Word, but he then allows the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lust for other things that bring pride to choke out the Word of God, leaving his life unfruitful and spiritually barren (Mark 4:18-19).

This deceit will satisfy the double-minded man for a while; however, the spiritual barrenness will eventually take its toll on him (Proverbs 20:17). When this happens, he won’t be able to live out the double life that he’s built for himself, pretending to serve the Lord but, in truth, serving his pride (Jeremiah 9:6). As a result, a double-minded man will get into a vicious cycle of backsliding and repenting, backsliding and repenting. However, until he crucifies his pride and deceit, he will only repeat the process again and again (Jeremiah 8:5).

A double-minded man might not recognize it, but his pride binds him like chains (Psalm 73:6). He is bound by his pride simply because he holds onto it, refusing to surrender it to Christ and allow Christ to make him free (John 8:36). If he were to truly repent of his pride and turn from it, the Lord would break loose his chains, bring him out of his self-imposed prison of perpetual backsliding, and set him in fellowship with other believers (Psalm 68:6).

So, what can you do when you see signs of double-mindedness in your husband? The Bible teaches that if someone is overtaken in a fault, you are to restore him in a spirit of meekness, considering the fact that you are also not perfect (Galatians 6:1). That’s why Jesus warned us to not attempt to take a speck out of someone else’s eye when we might have a beam in our own eye (Matthew 7:3). Therefore, if you decide to talk to your husband about double-mindedness, admit to him your own faults and ask him to pray for you as you will be praying for him—that you might bear one another’s burdens in Christ (Galatians 6:2).

However, if your husband refuses to acknowledge that he has a problem and to repent of his pride, cry out to the Lord on his behalf in your private prayer time (Jeremiah 13:17).

How do you pray against double-mindedness?

Ask God for wisdom in dealing with your husband’s double-mindedness (James 1:5).

Ask the Lord to deliver your husband from deceit (Psalm 120:2).

Ask God to draw closer to your husband, that he would have the desire to cleanse his hands and purify his double-minded heart (James 4:8); that he might be able to comprehend the breadth, length, depth, and height of Christ’s love for him (Ephesians 3:18-19) and that he would submit his heart to Christ so the root of pride would finally be uprooted from his life so he would be rooted and grounded in Christ’s love (Ephesians 3:17).

Positive reinforcement works well with all of us (remember the old saying that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar?). Therefore, ask God to help you to remember to encourage your husband daily so that he wouldn’t slip back into the deceitfulness of pride and once again have a hardened heart (Hebrews 3:13).

Finally, don’t forget to thank the Lord by faith for redeeming your husband’s soul from deceit because he is precious in God’s sight (Psalm 72:14).

Using the above scriptures, your prayer might be something like this:

Father, God in Heaven, I thank You for my husband, for he is a gift from You. I come to You today to seek wisdom in dealing with my husband’s double-mindedness, for I know that if I ask for wisdom, You will not withhold it from me (James 1:5).

I ask, Lord, that You would deliver my husband’s soul from lying lips and deliver his tongue from the deceit he uses to hide his double-mindedness (Psalm 120:2).

Lord, I ask that You would draw closer to my husband and let him feel Your love; that he would desire to cleanse his heart of the pride that causes double-mindedness (James 4:8). For when my husband comprehends the breadth, length, depth, and height of Your love for him, he will finally submit his whole heart to You, allowing You to uproot the pride that is holding him captive, and letting You root and ground him in Your love (Ephesians 3:17-19).     

Finally, Lord, help me to do my part by offering loving encouragement to my husband for each attempt and any progress he makes in uprooting pride from his heart (Hebrews 3:13).

I thank You by faith, Lord, for hearing my prayer and redeeming my husband’s soul from deceit because of Your great love for him.

In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.