Prayer for Reconciliation with My Husband

Sadness, loneliness, and feelings of emptiness come when couples separate. There is a kind of emptiness in the heart upon separation from being married and together for some time. Regret and pain can occupy once happily married individuals. Prayer for Reconciliation with My Husband is an article written to help wives who are in such a situation

Separation may not be the end of a relationship but rather a redirection to reconciliation. Reconciliation may take time, but it can be worked out by the husband and wife. You can initiate reconciliation and pray to God for it to happen.

How can I reconcile with my husband?

Anticipating a reconciliation with your husband can demand time and effort. Here are ten ways you can prepare for a possible reunion with your husband:

1. Talk with your husband 

Communication is of high importance in marriage. You and your husband need to have honest communication for your reconciliation to happen and eventually for you to have a long-lasting relationship.

Paul wrote to the Christians to speak pleasantly [ Colossians 4:6 (NIV) ]. Be gentle, tactful, and calm as you discuss what is wrong in your marriage and what you might do to repair and restore it. Choose to speak with consideration. Express that you are hurt and have been angry, and understand your husband as he lets out his feelings as well. Realize the problems in your marriage and agree to solve them together, issue by issue, without being angry or blaming each other. 

2. Do not be defensive

When a marriage tie breaks, usually both husband and wife have contributed to why the relationship has fallen apart.

Your husband has a fault, and you may also have a shortcoming or have made a mistake. Be completely honest with your spouse. Peter wrote that there is blessing in saying the truth [ “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 1 Peter 3:10 (NIV) ]. Share your thoughts without being rude, insensitive, or defensive. Your husband may have some resistance, so expect it.

3. Let forgiveness take place

If you have hurt your husband or made a mistake in your marriage, the best thing to do is apologize to him and make amends. On the other hand, if your husband made a mistake and hurt you, it would be best if you forgave him. 

Jesus preached that people should forgive others and that by doing so they would receive forgiveness from God [For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14 (NIV) ]. Forgiving each other is a big leap toward reconciliation. Forgiveness readies you both for a possible fresh start in your marriage.

4. See a positive change

The reason your marriage has been broken is because of an issue or a problem that arose. You and your husband need to make a change.

You both need to ponder and change the things that need to be altered. If your husband has a negative attitude that has caused your separation, then check if he is already changing, like leaving his old negative ways behind and living his new self in Christ [ Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV) ]. See if there is progress in him before you reconcile with him to ensure that separation will not happen again due to his actions or attitude. If you need to change something within yourself, then do it so that you will have the strongest bond possible once you get reconciled. This will keep you from being reconciled and then splitting up again later.

5. Agree on actions to take

You and your husband have been hurt by your separation. You both certainly do not want to dwell on the hurt or the past. You both want a renewed relationship.

Jesus said that when individuals agree with each other on what they ask, it will happen [“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:19 (NIV) ]. Make an agreement between both of you to forget the past and move on. Think about how to rebuild your marriage and come up with a list of what you can do together, such as having consistent daily communication, going out on dates regularly, eating together, and other things both of you want to do for a healthy and better marital relationship.

6. Build trust again

Trust is of foremost importance in marriage. When trust is gone, it is hard to get it back. You and your husband have to put in some effort to regain trust in each other. 

Paul wrote to the Christians not to lie [ Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices Colossians 3:9 (NIV) ]. Be truthful in your thoughts and feelings toward each other. Patience, consistency, sincerity, and being true to your promises matter in bringing back trust. Make certain that if you promise to do something, you do it. Disappointments may come as you build trust, but be open to your feelings so they can be dealt with immediately.

7. Have boundaries

There is a limit to what you and your husband can do in your marriage. Setting boundaries such as giving personal space to each other, agreeing to personal privacy, and communicating with maturity will help you have a better relationship.

Solomon wrote that it is better to have self-control [Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city. Proverbs 16:32 (NIV) ]. With boundaries laid out, you are both able to stand guard and control yourselves so as not to hurt each other. You get to benefit from protecting each other by having boundaries.

8. Assure him of your love 

When you and your husband separated, your love for each other may have decreased because of the hurt that you have caused each other. One of the positive things that you can do is to reassure your husband of your love.

Love the way Jesus has commanded [ John 13:34-35 (NIV) ]. Express that you love him. Show that you love him through your actions and your husband’s love language. Part of loving him is accepting the things he cannot change, just as God accepts you for who you are.

9. Pray for him

You both need the guidance and help of God. You and your husband need God to bless your relationship and make you like-minded.

Follow what Paul said to the Christians, to pray in all things [ Philippians 4:6 (NIV) ]. Pray for both you and your husband to be enlightened and encouraged by God. Pray for you and your husband to be ready for reconciliation. Ask God for you to be discerning and wise as you deal with and communicate with your husband. 

10. Seek out help

For reconciliation to occur, know that help is always available for you and your husband. You can seek the help of trusted or wise individuals.

The Lord stated to listeners to ask, and they will receive [ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7 (NIV) ]. God has equipped certain people to help in the reconciliation of couples. You may seek the help of your pastor, who God has blessed with wisdom. You may also ask for help from the elders of your church, your relatives, and trusted friends. Seeking professional help from a counselor can be a good option, as he or she is an expert in their field and will be able to give you the help that you need.

Can prayer reconcile my marriage?

When God made Eve for Adam so he could have a suitable companion, He intended for a man and a woman who get married to have a marital bond together for a lifetime. This is His design. He wants married couples to be united as they have made their vows, for God is a God of unity and togetherness.

Will of God

The separation between you and your husband is under the permissive will of God; it is a choice. You may have separated due to differences or unresolved issues. One of you might have thought of separating because you cannot bear the pain or see the marriage going on any longer. 

There is a possibility that prayer can aid in the reconciliation of you and your husband. You can pray for your husband to be reunited with you. God listens to every prayer you say, and He knows your heart. When God foresees that reconciling with your husband will not be good for you and your husband – as starting to live together again may cause arguments, irreconcilable differences, and hatred – God in his perfect wisdom, may not allow reconciliation to happen for the time being. However, many hope to be reconciled with their spouse and pray persistently until God grants their petition. 

John wrote that when your prayer is aligned with the will of God, then you will receive your request. While there is a verse in which Jesus teaches to ask and you shall receive what you have asked for [ John 16:24 (NIV) ] and to believe in what you have asked [ Mark 11:24 (NIV) ], your prayer for reconciliation should meet the requirement that it is according to the will of God as written by John [This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1 John 5:14 (NIV) ]. You may say that asking God for reconciliation with your husband is definitely part of the will of God, but sometimes God does not grant your request because He has greater plans for you, such as being free from further emotional pain, being able to have peace, and being able to take care of yourself and pursue the things that make you happy. God knows what will happen in the future between you and your husband. So, you must pray for wisdom and direction, but leave your reconciliation request in God’s loving hands. 

Permissive Will

Sometimes, God will not permit reconciliation because a husband does not want to be reconciled. God can permit that because He has given man a permissive will and the freedom to make decisions. Remember, as Jesus neared his crucifixion, He prayed for God to not allow Him to be crucified, but God did not grant His request. There are reconciliations that are bound to happen and some that do not because either the husband or the wife doesn’t agree to reconcile.

Pray and hope that reconciliation will happen, but also pray for the will of God to be done. On a positive note, God will give you your desire to be reconciled when you and your husband need it. God will grant your request when He knows that you and your husband will be able to make things work for a lifetime. God will answer “Yes” when He sees that you and your husband will have a good relationship—one of respect, unconditional love, trust, and care; a strong partnership of helping and cheering each other and being a good example to your children. God will grant your request when He foresees that you and your husband will greatly help and support each other, persevering and growing together while withstanding challenges with a unified faith in Him.

God’s Finality

When it is the will of God for you to be reconciled with your husband, you will know because God will speak and confirm His will to you. You will know it by reading His words and listening to wise people you trust. The Holy Spirit will speak through them. And when the answer of the Lord is not according to your desire to reconcile, do not be dismayed. Still thank and trust God, Who is your father, protecting you. Thank Him, for He will give you a better gift than you expected. But when He grants your reconciliation, remember to thank and praise Him.

Remember, you are not defined by your relationships or unanswered prayers. You have been rescued by God, Who loves you greatly and Who will carry out His amazing plans for your life. 

Prayer for Reconciliation

You can bring to God your longing for reconciliation with your husband. You can pray this prayer or use it as a prayer guide:

Father God, thank You for having great plans for us and for loving us dearly. Thank You for giving me a husband. Lord, You know that my husband and I are separated from each other. I hope that we can still get back together as a couple. Please make us settle our differences and restore our communication once again. Lead us to the right people who can help us as we heal and become one again. Please reconcile us with each other. Help us learn from our mistakes and let there be forgiveness. Help us talk with gentleness, honesty, tact, and kindness. Help us to be sensitive to each other and be aware of each other’s feelings. Make us considerate and understanding of each other. Take pride and arrogance from us. Help us to fully respect each other. Let trust be rebuilt again. Help us start anew with Your guidance and grace. Bond us with Your love and faithfulness. Let Your will be done to my relationship with my husband, Father. Help me to rest in Your will. All these things I pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Prayer for Reconciliation with My Husband

Reconciliation was initiated and exemplified by Jesus on the cross when He took away the sins of people and opened the path for men to be reconciled to God. You can pray to God for your reconciliation and hope and patiently wait for the answer that He deems best to give you.