How Can I Make My Husband to Come Home?

Marriage is a gift from God. However, it is not a perfect relationship as it’s between two different individuals. Though there are happy and lovely moments, negative things may come to shake up a marital relationship.

There is a reason your husband does not want to come home, but you can do something about it. You certainly can make your husband come home by communicating with him well, praying for him, and giving him time for himself and others.

How to deal with a husband who won’t come home

Dealing with a husband who will not come home is challenging. You will need to think things through before taking action. Here are eight ways of dealing with your husband to get him to come home:

1. Reflect

Take time to think about the things that have been happening between you and your husband lately. Examine your actions [ Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) ]. Ponder the status of your relationship. Check your communication. Take a look at your time of togetherness. Think of how you have been treating each other these days. Reflect on your speech patterns and responses to your husband. See if they have been constructive, caring, loving, gentle, respectful, and kind. 

Reflect if you may have hurt or disappointed your spouse in any way. Recall if he has been cold lately. Maybe there is an issue between you two that you are not aware of. Perhaps he wants to deal with a problem and does not want you to worry about it.

2. Be patient with him

A spouse needs some time to be alone and think things over. Your husband may want some time to ponder certain matters. This “me” time can be beneficial and essential for a marriage to work. 

Be patient with your husband [ Ephesians 4:2 (NIV) ]. Your husband may need some time to himself to process things. Allow him to be with himself without your presence for a while. Understand his actions and be considerate of him. Respect his decision to be by himself. Give him the time he needs so that he can be strengthened and ready to be with you and your children again.

3. Do not assume

One of the most unproductive and disheartening things you can do is assume that you have done something wrong to your husband, which is why he does not want to come home. Know that wives are not always the reason their husbands do not want to come home.

Paul taught the early Christians to capture thoughts that direct their obedience to Jesus [ 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV) ]. Do not assume that it is your fault that he does not want to come home. Your husband may have other issues such as stress at work, worries, concerns, responsibilities, health matters, and other problems that he would rather resolve by himself because he does not want to burden you. He may distance himself from you and your children due to such issues, so his isolation may not be because of you. Therefore, do not overthink it or burden yourself with worrying about it.

4. Talk to him

Any issue can be solved through good communication. When a husband and wife speak to each other with gentleness, kindness, and respect, they unite in peace and solve problems effectively.

Let your husband talk with you freely without any judgment from you. Listen closely to what he is saying so you can understand his words. Talk to your husband pleasantly with grace [ Colossians 4:6 (NIV) ]. Speak about what is true, positive, right, and beneficial to him. Tell him that you and your children need him. Make him feel that you trust him. Express your appreciation to your husband generously. Show him that you accept him and are with him in whatever situation he is in. If there is a problem, ask your husband what you can do to help, and then accommodate him.

5. Make him feel special

Making your husband feel special is one of the keys to getting him to want to come home. When you make him feel important, he will realize that and see that he is indeed loved. 

Show your love for him [ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV) ]. Express that he is still the leader of your family whatever he is going through. Let him know that you and your children are waiting for him to get home. Give a gift that he will appreciate. Write him an appreciation letter. Let him know all the things that you appreciate about him and the things he has done. Thank him for all his work, love, support, and effort for you and your family. You may also write him a letter of encouragement. You can ask your children to write him a card as well. Give him a hug and rub his back. 

6. Pray together

An effective way to deal with a husband who does not want to go home is to pray together with him when you can. Go to God together for enlightenment, comfort, strength, and empowerment.

Jesus told his disciples that by praying together, they would receive what they had asked for and that God’s presence would be with them [ Matthew 18:19-20 (NIV) ]. Pray for God to resolve any issue between you and your husband or any concern that he has. Pray for wisdom, direction, and discernment to guide your husband in making decisions. Petition for courage and strength as your husband faces challenges. Request God for freedom from worries and fears. Ask God for your husband to be peaceful. Pray together, for prayer is powerful and effective.

7. Be a better wife

You can encourage your husband to come home in many ways. And one of the best ways to do it is by becoming a better, more responsible, and wise wife [ Proverbs 31:26-27 (NIV) ]. When you do this, he will be pleased, inspired, and moved to come back home. 

As a wife, you need to prioritize your husband. Accept him, including his imperfections. Give him high respect. Take care of him as well as you tend to your children. Give him what he needs and love him in his love language. Treat him kindly and do the nicest things for him. You need to give him your full support and some constructive criticism. Build up his faith, confidence, and self-esteem; carry his burdens as well. Understand him when he needs it. Encourage him in times of discouragement and weakness. Reassure him of your love for him and love him the way he needs to be loved.

8. Seek help

You are not perfect—nobody is. Your knowledge is limited, and you, therefore, need the help of others. Take heart, for help is available to you.

When you no longer know how to deal with your husband, you can seek the help of others. Ask for help from people you know who are wise and learned. Do not be shy or ashamed; all you have to do is to ask. Jesus taught his disciples to ask because they will be glad [ John 16:24 (NIV) ]. You can go to your pastor, marriage counselor, trusted friends, or even your parents or grandparents.

Conclusion

Making your husband want to come home is not easy. Dealing with him to encourage him to come home may require you to do things that are outside your comfort zone. But do not give up because God will help you inspire him to come home in due time.