How to Pray for a Cheating Husband

It’s the Seventh Commandment of God: Thou shalt not commit adultery (Exodus 20:14). You might have discovered your husband is cheating on you through text messages you saw on his phone. You might have heard from friends that your husband is cheating after they saw him with another woman. You might have found receipts for gifts he bought for his new lover. You might even have caught the two of them together. Regardless of how you discovered your husband’s infidelity, the question is, What are you to do, now that you’ve discovered your husband is cheating on you? Let’s look at what the Bible says should be done and How to Pray for a Cheating Husband

What does God say about an unfaithful husband?

In the 20^th chapter of Leviticus, we find God’s directives to Israel regarding the commission of sexual sins, including adultery, incest, homosexuality, and bestiality. God told Moses that the people who commit these sins are to be put to death (Leviticus 20:10). The specific manner of death prescribed for those who commit adultery is stoning (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

 You might think that sounds fitting—after all, your husband broke his marriage covenant with you. Your husband vowed before God to love, honor, and cherish you above all others, and now he’s giving her the love that he promised to give to you only.

Wait a minute, though. Before you pick up those stones to hurl at your adulterous husband and the woman he’s cheating with, turn your Bible to the 8th chapter of John. There you’ll find the story of the woman who was brought before Jesus when she was caught in the very act of adultery. The scribes and the Pharisees wanted to stone her, which was the proper punishment according to the law (John 8:3-5); according to the law, they would have been justified in stoning her on the spot. However, Jesus, Who was God incarnate and Who knew the hearts of men to be continually evil (Genesis 6:5), yet Who knew no sin Himself (2 Corinthians 5:21), didn’t give her accusers the approval to stone her they sought from Him. Instead, Jesus suggested that the one who was without sin should have the privilege of throwing the first stone (John 8:7). Because all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), each of her accusers had to put down their stones, abandon their accusations and demands for justice, and walk away, leaving her to be dealt with by Jesus (John 8:9). When Jesus, the only one who could have righteously thrown that first stone, was left alone with her, He didn’t pick up a stone. Instead, Jesus told her that He didn’t condemn her either but that she should go and sin no more (John 8:10-11).

As difficult as it will be to move past the pain and heartache your husband and the other woman have caused you, it is best to do with them as the scribes and Pharisees did with the adulterous woman—place the two of them in the hands of Jesus. Remember that only God can pass judgment and deal out justice (Jeremiah 17:10), and if you attempt to do what only God has a right to do, it will result in more pain for you because God will have to bring you into correction for judging their sin (Romans 2:3).

How do you deal with a cheating husband spiritually?

As difficult as it may sound, the only way to deal with a cheating husband spiritually is to love him as Christ loves him and to therefore forgive him (Romans 13:8). If you don’t forgive your husband, and also the woman he cheated with, Satan will use your unforgiveness as a stumbling block both in your own Christian walk and in your Christian testimony to others (Romans 14:13).

What does the Bible say about forgiving a cheating spouse?

The Lord has called you to be merciful, even as your Father in Heaven is merciful (Luke 6:36), and you are to forgive just as your Father in Heaven has forgiven you of your sins (Luke 6:37). That’s what you ask the Lord to help you to do every time you pray The Lord’s Prayer and ask Him to forgive your debts as you forgive your debtors (Matthew 6:12). This forgiveness is vitally important because it is only as you abandon your anger and righteous indignation that the Lord can begin to deal with your husband and can start the process of healing your broken heart (Psalm 34:18). The Lord will use this pain your husband has caused you to draw you closer to Himself and to take you to the next level of your walk with Him (Romans 8:28-29).

How do you forgive your husband after he has hurt you so badly that you really don’t want to forgive him?

 Pray for him (Matthew 5:44). And don’t just pray for your husband, pray also for the woman he cheated with. When you pray, be very careful not to pray that God will punish them for their sin, but that God will have mercy on them and bring them to repentance (Romans 2:4). When you do this, just as God blessed Job when he prayed for his friends who had hurt him, God will bless you as you pray for those who have hurt you (Job 42:10).

You will also need to live out your forgiveness. God will put you in positions where you will need to not just profess your forgiveness but also demonstrate your forgiveness (Proverbs 25:21). As you demonstrate your forgiveness to your husband for his infidelity, God will begin to work on his conscience, causing your husband to regret hurting you, and to begin turning his heart back to you (Proverbs 25:22).

God has promised to bless them that bless you and to curse those who curse you (Genesis 12:3). However, don’t be discouraged when you see God bless your husband and/or the woman he cheated on you with. After all, you are praying for the Lord to have mercy on them and lead them to repentance. Therefore, expect that God will bless them—He has said that He will bless whom He will bless, and He will have mercy upon whom He will have mercy (Exodus 33:19). It’s important to be very aware that the Lord will be watching your reaction as He blesses those who hurt you because until your heart has the right response to your enemies’ being blessed, you haven’t truly forgiven. As you see them being blessed, rejoice with them, and if you see them hurting, pray for God to have mercy on them. God is using this temporary pain you now feel to work His eternal glory in and through your life (2 Corinthians 4:17).

Prayer for a cheating husband

Your prayer for your husband might be something like this:

Father, my Lord God in Heaven, I’m hurting so badly right now. I feel so betrayed and alone. However, I trust in Your promise that when I cry out to You in my distress, You are near (Psalm 145:18).

Father, help me to forgive my husband for his betrayal and adultery. Take away any desire in my heart to judge him, for only You can judge (Genesis 50:19). Fill me with Your love and forgiveness toward my husband, that I might be a light to him that would guide him to You (Ephesians 5:8).

Bless my husband, Lord, with Your mercy and grace (Romans 9:15). Open the eyes of my husband’s understanding, Lord; help him to see the error of his adultery and to repent, that his reproach would be wiped away (Proverbs 6:32-33). Help my husband to guard his heart (Proverbs 4:23), Lord, that he would not be tempted by other women (Proverbs 6:24).  

Also have mercy on the woman he cheated with, Lord. Help me to see her as You see her and to freely forgive her for cheating with my husband, even as You have freely forgiven me for my sins (Colossians 3:13).

I thank You, Father, for what the enemy meant for evil to hurt me You will use for my good and my spiritual growth (Genesis 50:20). I thank You, Father, that You will bind up my broken heart and heal my emotional wounds (Psalm 147:3). I thank You, Father, for showing me how to truly love as Christ loved, through forgiveness (Luke 23:34). In the name of Jesus, I pray. Amen.