How to Deal with a Husband Who Does Not Listen?

Listening and understanding are vital in communication, which allows a relationship to thrive and prosper. When someone doesn’t know how to listen and understand what the other person is saying, it can be frustrating and challenging to attain the kind of relationship you want. Let’s dive in the topic How to Deal with a Husband Who Does Not Listen?

As a wife with a husband who does not listen, the only way to deal with it is to understand his point of view. Men mostly communicate by rational and logical means, while women mostly communicate through feelings and emotions from their hearts. However, sometimes this is vice versa, depending on the situation. It can be difficult when you are trying to say something important, and your husband doesn’t seem to get it. That’s why he is perceived as not listening. 

Next, you can clarify to him how he understands your statement. You can ask him, “What was the message communicated to you when I said…?” Sometimes, you’ll be surprised how the message you communicated to your husband became a totally different message when it reached him. For instance, a husband accidentally burnt the fish while cooking and his wife told him, “This is how you should cook the fish.” But the message that came to the husband was, “You’re a failure! You don’t know how to cook!” The same thing can happen to a wife when the husband communicates something and the message changes. It is important to clarify when there seems to be a problem with communication.

After clarification and understanding on both ends, you can now clearly explain, “That’s not what I meant when I said… I am sorry if you felt that way.” Once there is understanding on both ends, you can easily communicate without barriers. The enemy is the one who loves to twist our lines of communication, especially within marriage. He knows that when the unity of a couple is destroyed through communication, he can easily implement more schemes to steal, kill, and destroy (see John 10:10). 

Take a look at how the serpent deceived Eve in the Garden of Eden. He told the woman that if she eats the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, she will be “like God,” knowing both good and evil. As the woman looked at the fruit, it was desirable to gain wisdom (see Genesis 3:5-6). Eve received the message that she’s not like her Creator and a woman without wisdom. That’s why she desired the fruit. Insecurity and self-doubt were imparted to Eve by the enemy, which led to the succession of the devil’s temptation. She believed in the enemy’s lies, not truly understanding that God created her in His own image and likeness and that the wisdom and knowledge of God were within her already.

The enemy uses the same tactic in marriages to create strife in a couple. He uses lies to communicate to the spouse and twists messages so that there will be miscommunication, misunderstanding, and misinterpretations of words and actions done by one another. But when you reach out to clarify, seek to communicate and understand that the lies one believed in will be exposed. 

You must deal with your husband gently and seek understanding and clarification so that the messages will be well received, and listening to each other won’t be a problem. Make an agreement that you both seek clarification and understanding whenever there is a problem with communication. Job 28:28 says that real understanding is to forsake evil. There’ll be true understanding when you forsake pride and offense in communication and embrace humility through clarification. 

And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding. Job 28:28

How do I pray for a husband who does not listen?

Praying for your husband is an integral part of a godly marriage. There are no perfect spouses and marriages, but we have a Perfect God through Christ Jesus at work in each one’s lives. There’s the Holy Spirit who reminds us of the truth, convicts us of our wrongs and helps us in our faith walk daily to be Christlike in all our ways. Praying for your husband causes heaven to move on his behalf through the grace of God working perfectly on his weaknesses.

Here is how you can pray for your husband:

Heavenly Father, I lift to You my marriage. As my husband and I struggle with communication, I know that You help me to understand him when he does not listen. You give me wisdom and insight into his actions and words. Thank You, for you are the center of our marriage, and we can overcome anything through love. I bless my husband and our communication. We rebuke any works of Satan in our marriage, and I declare the victory of Christ in Jesus’ name. Amen.

May the Lord bless you and your husband as you seek understanding and clarifications when he does not listen. God bless your beautiful heart that continuously burns with love and passion for your marriage through Christ Jesus.