Prayer for a Selfish Husband

One of the enemies of marriage is selfishness. When spouses think more about themselves than their other half, the enemy comes in to steal, kill, and destroy (see John 10:10). The Bible commands us to esteem others more than we esteem ourselves. Philippians 2:3 says, “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.”  

As you are here looking for a prayer for a selfish husband, you are heading in the right direction. Praying to God is the first best option because the only One Who can fix the human heart is the Maker of it. A prayer for a selfish husband can be prayed in this manner:

Heavenly Father, I lift to You my husband’s mind and heart. Thank You, for You know him more than I can ever know him. You love him, and You always see the gold in his heart. I declare that Your goodness in him and the fruit of the Spirit manifest in his life, for this is Your will. I bless him from the inside out. He is a blessing in my life, the man I chose to marry, and I love him for the rest of my life as Christ has loved me in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Selfishness indicates that the person is walking according to the flesh and not the Spirit. When we take our eyes off Jesus Christ and His Word, we tend to focus more on ourselves, which leads to the works of the flesh. And the more we focus on ourselves, the more selfishness intensifies, causing a blind spot in noticing others’ needs, how others feel, and even what the results of a selfish action will lead to. 

The only antidote to the works of our flesh is the Word of God. Galatians 5:16 says, “This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Walking in the Spirit means filling our minds with the Word of God, with heavenly things, and fixing our eyes on Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith. The Word of God is powerful in exposing our inner thoughts and motives, including selfishness (see Hebrews 4:12). And when we read God’s Word, the Holy Spirit’s conviction comes and enlightens our inner man.

As you partner with the Holy Spirit, let Him lead and guide you in helping your man get back into God’s Word. Let your home be filled with heavenly things. It must begin with you as the wife to assist your husband, who may be unaware that he is walking not according to the Spirit. Continuously pray for him and be alert against the devil, who may seek to devour you through your husband’s actions. Remain Christlike toward him and keep producing the fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23) so that faith, hope, and love through Christ remain in your marriage.

How do you live with a selfish husband? 

Living with a selfish husband can be challenging and difficult to face as a wife, but by the grace of the Living God, you can do all things through Christ Who strengthens you. 

To live in harmony and love with the man you married, you must help him get back into God’s Word as you continuously fix your eyes on Jesus Christ and heavenly things to help restore your marriage. As mentioned earlier, only the Word of God can renew and realign our minds and hearts according to God’s will. You can invite him on fellowship or play online preachings in the background where he is so the Word of God can minister to him. If your husband is a non-Christian, continue to pray for his soul and walk according to who you are in Christ Jesus. As you display God’s unconditional love, his heart will someday be impacted by the seeds of acts of love.

Moreover, as a wife, it is important that you also fill your mind and heart with God’s Word and let the Holy Spirit work on your husband’s personal issues. Sometimes, there are temptations when facing struggles and difficulties in marriage to control or force the other to change. However, it isn’t our job to fix people but to show Christlikeness by all means as Christians. Thus, surrender your husband to God, focus on your character growth, and receive God’s love by studying and meditating more about it. When you are filled with the Father’s love, it overflows to your husband without seeing his flaws and imperfections because you are seeing him through the Father’s eyes.

It is important to look at your husband’s positive traits rather than his negative ones because this will also impact your marriage. The more you focus on his selfishness, the more such a trait of his gets magnified in your thoughts, affecting your words and deeds. Instead of speaking what’s negative, start declaring his true nature in Christ and the Word of God. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” You can declare the Love Scripture to your husband in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 in this way:

In Jesus’ name, my husband is patient and kind. He isn’t jealous, boastful, or proud; He does not demand his way. He isn’t irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. He does not rejoice in injustices but rejoices when truth wins out. He never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Amen.

What does God say about selfishness in marriage?

Marriage is where God’s agape love is fully revealed. When you exchange vows with your spouse before God and all your loved ones, you are to truly love one another through the ups and downs in the journey. And through one another’s imperfections, God is able to show His unlimited grace, which works best in people’s weaknesses, even when one goes through a phase of selfishness (see 2 Corinthians 12:9). 

Selfishness, whether in the context of marriage, family, friendship, siblings, or even strangers, is not part of the new nature and living in Christ Jesus. Selfishness belongs to the old man, where the flesh, sin, and self are gratified apart from Christ. The Bible tells us that we are to esteem others better than ourselves, as mentioned earlier, and that we are not to be conceited but loving and kind to one another (see Romans 12:16, Galatians 5:26). However, we cannot control people’s behavior or character, and this is the challenge for those who are more mature in the faith walk. No matter how selfish, unkind, rude, or harsh others are, we are called to walk according to Christ’s image and represent the Father with the help of the Holy Spirit. When your husband is selfish, continue to show him love and kindness because those are powerful seeds of righteousness that will someday deeply impact him.

Also, know that if the enemy is attacking your husband in this area, it is most probably that your man is destined to demonstrate the selfless love of God that will impact your marriage, children, your home, and those around him. The enemy doesn’t distort what is not valuable. That is why he always comes to steal, kill, and destroy (see John 10:10). He is scared by how God will someday use your man to advance God’s Kingdom and release sons and daughters to their ultimate calling to love one another. It is your privilege as a wife to pray for your husband, intercede for him, and expect God’s hand to move in his life.

You can pray and come against the spirit of selfishness to declare Christ’s righteousness upon your husband. Your marriage is a potential threat to the enemy; that is why he wants you to struggle. But now that you know the truth, he will pay back seven times what he has stolen from your man and your marriage (see Proverbs 6:31).